Day 4: I'm Going to (Try to) Stop "Should"-ing on Myself

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January 4, 2024

I came upon this thought today, and got feedback from a FB friend saying she needed it today. My response was as follows: 

(Name) oh girl, me too. I realized this morning that  “should”-ing on myself is a nasty mental game I play, so I’m going to target that for a language change to hear the “should” but show myself grace by following up with “Yeah, but I’m good at…” We shall see. Love you tons. Happy New Year!

I really am a "should"-er. I should have more friends. I should have run farther today. I should have spent better time with my kids. I should have, I should have, I should have. When I really think about it, I realize that a mental workout I do against myself is to "should". I think it's a little bit comparison, a cup of imposter syndrome, and a dash of pessimism with a final sprinkle of self-injury. I also let these thoughts...not even knowingly...become barriers to me. Hurdles I create to have to climb over. Sound nuts? Maybe it is...I don't know. 

This post really shook the "should" out of me...but I'm only good at replacing language with new language, and sometimes my "should"s do have some growth seeds in them.  So I have decided to filter the BS bad thoughts out and keep the stuff that truly will make me better. I also need to work on finding my shine just as easily/often as I focus on how I can be better. 

So I'm going to work on pairing a "should" with a "Yeah, but I'm good at..." and see how it works. 

Example: 

I should have more friends that I stay in touch with. 

Yeah, but I'm good at staying connected via social media with lots of people and directly with a very small group who matter most to me, inspire me, and it's easy to be me with. 

I should have spent better time with my kids. 

Yeah, but today we went to Top Golf and--for those two hours--we laughed, all put our phones away, and enjoyed each other. 

So...day 1 of this strategy is a success. We'll see how it goes...

Oh, and I did a 45 minute Interval and Arms ride with Cody on Peloton for 13.48 miles. I know I have to cross train, and biking makes my legs stronger. Plus, Cody makes me laugh hard, and that is a gift when you're a sweaty mess on a bike to nowhere. 

Can't get this to NOT be centered text, so I'm leaving it this way...with gratitude and a splash of grace, 

Heather